A Tale of Two Tattoos

I, like most Pagans, am blessed/cursed with a love of body modification.

Unfortunately I am also cursed with an allergy to most jewelry metals, which means that almost all of my piercing experiences have ended in tears.

If I were a wealthy woman, or didn't have to use my disposable income to support a raging book habit, I would be covered in tattoos.  I'd have a full back piece and something down each arm, around both ankles...ever since I got my first one at the age of 19, I've looked at my body as a blank canvas.

Sad to say, ten years later I still only have two small tattoos.  Partly it's a fear of commitment, and a lack of financial resources...however, there is something else at work here that holds me back.

I tend to be drawn to transformative experiences, particularly those involving darkness and pain.  It's a thing I do.  Tattoos are a natural combination of these forces, but I've come to realize over the years that you have to be very, very careful what you invoke, especially if you invoke it permanently on your skin.

My first tattoo was of a tribal butterfly.  Seems innocuous enough, right?  But a tattoo always makes a statement:  on a sorority girl's lower back it says "this end up."  On a Witch's shoulder blade, apparently, it says "Yes!  I invoke the power of destruction and creation via the happy pretty butterfly!  Bring profound change to my life by the metric assload!" or to put it more succinctly, "KICK ME."

Shortly after that tattoo I had my first Wiccan initiation, and you can guess how smoothly my life has run since then.

The question then becomes, what energy is important enough, what kind of transformation vital enough, for me to go under the needle and invoke such primal and disturbing forces again?  For a long time, I didn't have an answer. 

Then along came Spider.

My second tattoo is a stylized black widow with a red spiral, etched opposite the butterfly.  The way I went about it shows how much I've changed since the first one--I designed it myself, and knew exactly what its meaning was instead of (I'm ashamed to admit) picking flash art off the wall with no intention beyond "ooh, purdy."

If you know me at all you know about Spider, the eight-legged emissary of my Muse.  When Spider starts showing up in my life (I mean this literally), I know it's time to begin work on a new writing project.  I decided to have her drawn on me in order to facilitate communication, and as an offering in flesh to the creative force.  I even had her placed on my left shoulder blade specifically because I'm left handed (more symbolic than anything else, as most of my writing is done with both hands thanks to the technological age). 

While Spider was being done, I did some pretty hardcore energy work (the artist was some form of Pagan, and was helping me, whether he did so actively or not; if you're at all magically aware, it's near impossible not to enter into an energy circuit with someone carving a picture into your body) and was in a trance for days afterward, plagued with creepy crawly dreams.  I felt something change. 

Well, it's been a year and a half since that tattoo, and I have yet to make any real headway on a third book; I have in fact spent most of that time in a mire of writer's block.

And while I could find this discouraging (actually I have), I have of late realized that it's not that the sacrifice wasn't accepted...it's that an offering of that magnitude will eventually yield results of that magnitude, and Spider is biding her time. 

As a person who is rather weary of personal drama, this worries me.

As a Witch (and a Scorpio, for that matter), this turns me on.

In the meantime, however, I've come to understand that there's at least one more piece that has to go on my back:  a Tree of Life, situated between the butterfly and the spider, the Goddess holding predator and prey, darkness and light, in balance. 

Only problem is, I haven't found a design I like, and all my attempts at drawing one myself have ended in much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  I've known I had to have a Tree tattoo for years, but it's only this year that the universe has informed me it must become a reality, and soon. 

Why?  Well, because there's nothing like being knee-deep in your Saturn return to make you consider the meaning and weight behind every single action you take.  On November 19 of this year I'll turn 30, and that's when I intend to get the Tree.  I have until then to find or create what I'm looking for.

I also know that there are more tattoos on the way.  My 20s have been filled in haphazardly with crayon on the paper kiddie placemat of my personal evolution.

I have the distinct feeling that my 30s will be drawn in ink.

Comments

[Teece]

I find that I do my tattoos when that particular journey/rite of passage is complete. Essentially beautifying the battle scars.

I too have a butterfly on one shoulder, although mine was designed by me and the artist (who is a close personal friend and ex-lover). It is worked together with a large lion paw, and signifies "strength in change". The idea was to remind me that when things look darkest, there may be a key in metamorphosing who I am being.

I love the sound of your spider tat, and recognize the incredible statement you have made by bringing that energy to your body of work.

I have been craving a new bit of art myself for about a year now, but have not felt "finished" or "ready" for a new piece. Perhaps I shall meditate on the approach you speak of here.... of offering that flesh to the energy and letting it participate in the journey.

[Jess]

I'm really fond of Elgaer's tree designs here, here, and here. She lets people use her designs for tattoos so I'm sure she wouldn't mind my sharing them with you here.

Personally, I love tattoos but I find that every year, I change so much, and I wouldn't still be happy with what I had the year before. I wish I knew what was "me" in terms of body art, or I'd do it, no question.

[Sylvan]

Jess:

Thank you for linking to those designs. They're absolutely lovely. :)

[Zorya]

I have always been of two minds regarding tattoos. On the one hand, tattoos are ubiquitous in the pagan community to the point that not having one makes one almost unique. Getting a tattoo would be a physical expression of the spirituality I have embraced.

On the other hand, I am 53 yrs old and spent my childhood in the mid 1950's through the 1960's. Women rarely (if ever) sported tattoos and "good" girls never even considered such a thing. That, and the remains of a needle-phobia make me reluctant to make the plunge.

The final roadblock is that I can't think of anything that I would want permanently emblazoned on my body. :-)

[Rae]

It took me three years to get my last tattoo. I had the design in my head but I'm not an artist. I ended up having to call a friend (who's done commission pieces before and is another theater brat) to design the piece for me. see it here - the pencil sketch was done by the friend, the color added later by the artist.

For me it's not so much the roadblock of what I want there as much as where to put things that won't get distorted by time. There's only so many body parts. :)

[mama kelly]

Some of my tattoos are flash art .. but only when I found the "right piece" at the right time.

I have a Goddess on my shoulder which was straight off the wall ... a pentacle that was actually a combination of 2 different flash pieces .... and a patchwork heart (also off the wall) which for me represents my hubby finding me with a broken heart and piecing me back together.

Even a piece of flash can be made unique with tweaks to the design and color choices.

Kelly

[Marian Dalton]

Mine are all flash, but with my own colours - because I can't draw at *all*. One my left shoulder I have a rosebud, symbolising my return to education (beginning university), and a purple pentacle (my spiritual sister has the twin, black, one). On my right I have two lotus flowers, to encourage me to 'flower' as a scholar and writer, and a nightbird (a phoenix coloured in deep blues and purples), as part of my dedication to the Dark Goddess.

Been feeling the 'itch', but no picture has come yet ...

Hope you find your Tree soon.