Waxing Poetic - Why I Hate the Mall

There have been a lot of body-image-related stories floating in and out of my world the last couple of weeks, and rather than give an impassioned rant about it (which frankly I don't have the energy for right now), I thought I would let this bit I wrote two years ago speak for me.  After you've written an entire book on a subject you find it's a lot harder to summon the outrage you used to without feeling like a broken record.  Every time someone asks me my take on a fat-phobia related story I want to pretend I'm Gilderoy Lockhart and just say: 

"For details, see my published works."

This was originally supposed to go in The Body Sacred, but its tone was a good deal angrier than I wanted the book to be--the incident it is based on did however make it into the book as part of a larger story.

Disdain written on your face
You have no idea who you’re sneering at
Your girlfriend:
a walking bag of antlers
Your contribution to this world:
support for the makers of Viagra
Cell phones and 401k plans
What SUV to buy this year
Ugly children named Britney and Bryce
Who look more like the UPS guy than like you
While you’re humping your Tinker Toy princess
She’s thinking about what purse goes best with her dog
Moaning daintily up at the ceiling
Oh.  Baby.  Oh.  God.  Yes.  Yes.  Yawn.

That fat girl you’re looking down on
As the two of you walk by
Is a Goddess of Earth and Fire
Calmly eating her sundae
Licking the spoon
In a way you’ll never be licked.
She is laughing at you, boy,
You can feel her crawl up your spine
To breathe a silken "Fuck off" in your ear
She has better things to think about
than your views on dessert
She is softer and stronger than Tinker Toys
far more likely to break you than be broken
She has a universe inside her
You would bow down and pray to
If you were man enough
To look her in the eye.

(August 2005)

Comments

[sravana]

Wow. I really love that (after saying that I don't like poetry).

Thanks for posting it.

[Mikki]

This is wonderful. I think people forget that a few extra pounds does not make a person any less of a human. That person has ideas, feelings, a sense of humor, wit. Most skinny girls put so much effort into being skinny that there is little else there. I was glad to quit my diet. All I could do is think "don't eat, don't eat..." Once I stopped fighting nature, I was a much better person, capable of normal thought!
I find most guys prefer a woman who has a bit to hold on to and knows what (and how) she wants.

[Aquila ka Hecate]

My partner was looking over my shoulder as I started to read this, this morning.

"Did you write that?" he asked.

"No-but another Scorpio did!" I answered.

It does read like something I would have said.
Great stuff.I must go look into your books.

Love,
Terri in Joburg

[Amber]

Hey, I've never read your blog before, but my friend sent me this link, demanding that I read your poem. I believe she's tired of hearing my body woes. Anyway, I just wanted to say, it's an incredibly moving poem, and very beautiful, and good for you. At 5'3, 150 lbs, I think full-bodied, curvy women are more beautiful than the popular bag-of-bones types today. I wish we could all take a cue from you, and learn to be at peace with ourselves, instead of at war. Thanks for the inspiration!

[Starstuff]

Double wow! To the men who lusted after the runway model types, I used to suggest that they sleep with a couple of coathangers first, just to make sure they liked it. Now I don't give a f*k.

[october]

Your poem reminds me of myslf when I am being 'possessed'(whoops, I mean guided!) by Lilith. You So Rock!!!!!!!!!!
Blessings!

[Mel]

I love it. There is so much strength and beauty tucked into the last stanza.

[sopka]

I love this poem I wish I could of read it 30 years ago when I was a teenager I am glad the young women have it now to read.

[Wisteria]

Whoa...slow down...coathanger??? 5'2" 96lbs. 46 y.o. coathanger/walking bag of antlers here....NOT anorexic...just stressed and thyroid hyper.

"OH, you miserable bags of bones" I remember that quote from ARMY OF DARKNESS (a ridiculous movie that my boys couldn't watch enough when they were 10+11)Skeleton with his face falling apart, everytime I look in the mirror. I DO enjoy my icecream, and wish I could give my husband more to hold onto than the little old lady in the Playboy comics with the linguine teats. And seriously, one of my boys middle name is Bryce...he rolls his eyes, asking, "What WERE you thinking???" I swear, I thought it was a good idea at the time...if only to slap his father who HAD to name him after Kevin McHale of Boston Celtics fame. Sadly, menopause has turned me into a stick figure. If I turn sideways can you still see me? I'm still here. I may shop in the girl's dept. but I'm still womanly, at least on the inside. I remember what it was like to actually have hips/thighs/breasts/belly/ass(a nice one too before gravity set in) I'm still her.

[tmasters]

Yes, how about less judgement on either side. Can we all be ourselves? As a professional listener I can tell you that you absolutely cannot tell a person's story by loking at them, no matter how stereotypical you think they are. All are wounded, all have wounded, all deserve respect. Love yourself and all others as best you can. It's the same thing.