A few days ago I expressed on Twitter that I was rethinking my website, and that apparently made some folk nervous. Don't worry, I'm not shutting down DDtM...but its form may change a little as time goes on. Right now the plan is to create an official authory sort of website that will serve as a hub for my work both fiction and non; the blog will be a part of that. I have no idea what role spirituality will play in future versions of this site, but rest assured it's not going away.
I admit my priorities have shifted a bit. As I'm no longer really Wiccan and have almost nothing to do with the Pagan community offline, other than a group of Witchy women I see all too little, I feel like I'm out of touch with Paganism and the enthusiastic religion of my early twenties. If you think that bothers me, well...it doesn't, really. I wish I could say I miss the community, but to be honest I never really felt like I belonged among other Pagans--Pagan-friendly groups, definitely, but I preferred a more spiritually diverse climate that tended less toward drunken revelry, anti-Christian rantery, and...okay, I'll say it: organizational clusterfuckery.
Where that leaves me, I have no idea, and I'm okay with that.
In fact, at this exact moment in time, my life is pretty stellar. I've rededicated myself to veganism, have started going to Nia again, and am feeling progressively better health-wise; I'm starting on my second novel while the first is chugging toward publication and is starting to garner endorsements; I'm not staring down the barrel of a negative bank balance; I have a job, a comfortable home, a car that runs, friends and family who love me, two affectionate fuzzbutts, outlets for creative expression, plenty of access to nourishing food and clean water, a Macbook, and a future full of possibility; I'm even enjoying Facebook, which I never thought possible. My cup overfloweth with awesomeness.
Strangely, it's at these times in my life when I start looking around wondering what's missing.
I don't say that as a typical gloomy cynical Scorpio; I say that as someone who knows what it's like to feel like life as a whole is a bottomless pit of crap with me buried up to my neck. When you're mired in depression everything feels wrong; when life is going pretty well, you gain some clarity and are able to identify wobbly bits without feeling like every wobble is the world falling off axis. I've been slowly hauling myself out of the muck since this Autumn, and while progress is a wonderful thing, sometimes it starts to feel a bit...monotonous...especially when the things that were wrong aren't easily or quickly fixed, and healing them is going to take long continuous effort perhaps over years.
I think I need a breath of fresh experience. A trip, a class, a new hobby, an adventure, something to shake the cobwebs out.
A friend and I are hoping to take a trek up to Portland in the coming months just for the hell of it; it's a part of the country I've always wanted to see, and PDX is pretty famous among vegans for having all sorts of awesome eateries and other cultural landmarks. Another dear friend--the one I've had since we were awkward prepubescents--has been urging me to get off my butt and travel, especially since she lives in the Czech Republic and has wanted me to visit her for years. That one might be down the pipeline a bit, but still, I've finally realized it's possible, and that I can make it happen.
Who knew one day I'd be flashing my optimism in public?
At any rate, don't be surprised by any changes you see here at DDtM in the near future.