Dancing Down the Moon

Ahimsa in the Mirror, Part One

I: Practice Makes...More Practice

If you are alive, you killed something today.

One of the things that veg*ns hear constantly is the worn-out old argument about the "suffering" of plants; one of the things that veg*n Pagans hear ad nauseum is that everything dies and death is just a natural part of the Circle of Life, Simba, so we might as well take all that bacon with us to the grave.  Some even accuse us of being afraid of death or in denial of the dark side of life.  We kill microorganisms by the million just breathing, we hit bugs with our windshields, and insects and rodents die every day in the course of vegetable farming--even organic farming.

So obviously if you can't be 100% vegan--and you absolutely can't in this world--you shouldn't even try, right?

To me the question is not one of death.  Vegetables die for me at every meal.  Granted, about thirty pounds of plants are required to raise one pound of beef, so if you're worried about vegetable suffering I'd still say veg is the way to minimize that, but still, being alive and taking up space means that something else can't.  Law of physics, you know.  Every morsel I eat is one that another being couldn't.  Just like me getting a job means someone else didn't.  Does that mean I should be unemployed?

Literalism is often used to justify unacceptable behavior.  Look at fundamentalist Christians and homosexuality, or Islamic extremists and...everybody.  Taken literally, the mere concept of veganism, Ahimsa, or even the Wiccan Rede is utterly ridiculous, impossible, and just plain silly.

Great! Let's all give up and pull the wings off flies!

That's why I view Ahimsa as a practice as well as a virtue.  Notice that a lot of worthwhile aims--yoga, Wicca, medicine, tantric sex--are all referrred to as "practices," not "perfects."  Just because you can't go all the way doesn't mean you shouldn't try.  Don't think you can stop eating meat?  Eat one less flesh meal a week.  This doesn't just apply to what you eat, either.  Just because you can't stop worldwide poverty doesn't mean you can't help one person.  It may not seem like much but I guarantee to that one person it was everything.

It may be just a burger to you, but to someone, it was life.

Whether or not it's justifiable to kill and eat animals for food is, to me, unimportant.  We could argue about that all day and get nowhere, just like with any fundamental belief.  But the fact is that our appetites have created a system that causes immeasurable suffering to living things, all kept carefully out of sight, torture and murder performed for us by hit men who have next to no worker's rights and are barely paid a living wage, only to come home and transfer the violence of their employment to their families. This isn't some kind of out of proportion veggie propaganda.  Find any video of a slaughterhouse killing floor or read interviews with workers and you'll see what really goes on behind those faraway walls.  If it were only death meted out by the industry, the numbers would still be outrageous, but the abuses and horrors perpetrated against defenseless animals are inexcusable.  There's simply no reason for it. 

All of this to satisfy our taste--not our needs.  Whatever you think about eating flesh, the fact is, nobody needs a Big Mac.

The irony is that this cruelty is also slowly killing us.  Broccoli isn't the culprit in the rising cost of healthcare and the swelling cancer statistics.  Nobody has a heart attack from eating rice every day.  I would take perverse amusement at this, but really it saddens me that people are able to live with blinders on, when the human race is capable of so much more.

I am working to remove myself from the system of innocent blood spilt over willful amnesia.  I am not perfect and never will be.  I can't guarantee I won't go on a cheese bender one day any more than I can guarantee I won't accidentally hit a butterfly with my car.  I have no idea what life has in store for me, but I can make the solemn and earnest declaration that I am committed to the practice of nonviolence and will do the best I can to minimize the suffering of other beings especially in the name of my desires. 

(Sounds awfully Buddhist of me, doesn't it?  I think Paganism needs a version of the Boddhisattva Vows--of course, that would require a much more organized view of the universe than most Pagans have.)

Next post I'll talk about what it means to commit to nonviolence toward the self.

I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight

From Pagan Prompt:

Do pagans have a responsibility to honor all life and thus be vegetarians?

Oh, mercy.  I tend to avoid questions like this like the plague.  Few things make people as angry and defensive as questioning their meat-eating, and since I don't like to be bitched at and belittled, I don't talk about that sort of thing as much as I probably should.  I am a passive activist, you could say.  To quote a bumper sticker, "Regime change begins at home."  I do enjoy writing about the subject, but you'll notice I still haven't started that secondary blog I mentioned months ago.

The thing is, people who get angry on either side of the issue certainly aren't going to win anyone over, and a depressing percentage of the vegans I've met have been self-righteous, bitter, pedantic jerks.  You could also say the same about any marginalized group.  Being passionate about one's values can very easily slide into rage and bitterness when one sees that so few others feel the same way about something that you think is not only important, but glaringly self-evident.  The world is fucked up, and no two groups agree exactly on how it should be unfucked, and worst of all, it's very easy to give up in the face of one person's seeming inability to contribute to the unfucking of a fuck so vast and pervasive.

Do I think the world would be a better place if we stopped torturing and killing animals for food and pleasure?  Yes.  But that's not a decision I can make for anyone else.  I can only live according to the values I hold dear and hope that one day my example inspires someone else to take a hard look at her own habits, and maybe even change them.  Nevertheless, the entire world's transgressions against the sacred are not something I can control, and in the end, I am only responsible for myself.  A movement is only as viable as the individuals within it.

So if you ask me, "Do pagans have a responsibility to honor all life and thus be vegetarians?" I'll say, "No.  I do."  Not because I think that's the only way to be Wiccan, or to honor the Earth, or that any other way of living is inferior--because it's what I believe, and I want to live a life of integrity. 

Other people can ignore the cognitive dissonance between environmentalism and the destruction caused by factory farming; other people can draw a divide between the lives and suffering of animals and the lives and suffering of humans; other people can believe that praying over a corpse excuses its torture and death.  I can't do those things.  So I choose to live another way as much as I can.  But it's my choice.  You have to make your own.

Now, having said that, I will admit quite freely that my commitment to veganism has not been 100%, or constant.  In the last few months I've tumbled clumsily off the wagon (and into a vat of ice cream).  I'm not proud of it, but neither am I giving myself grief about it--we all have our seasons of darkness.  As everyone knows, this has been a very long and difficult one for me.  Therefore, I'm hardly in a position to judge what other people do or don't do.  The best I can do is keep trying, and as my mental health has improved, so has my ability to make decisions in keeping with my values. 

For me personally, eating animal products ties in with a self-destructive part of myself that I am working to exorcise.  Aside from the ethical issues, when I eat vegan my physical health improves, and when I am in a depressive tailspin I sabotage my health at every opportunity.  Not only does it hurt my body, it poisons my mind:  "Oh, I can't do anything right, I'm such a screwup, I can't even stay vegan, not only am I messing up my own life, I'm hurting animals too.  I should just swallow this bottle of Ambien and call shenanigans on this entire wasted incarnation."  Also, if I am habitually eating cheese, it's evidence that my spiritual practice has atrophied, because ahimsa, noninjury, is such an important part of that practice.  Ahimsa applies both to others and to myself, and if all things are connected, one cannot be separated from the other.

My newest tattoo is part of my effort to reclaim what matters in my life.  It's also a commitment to my life in itself:  if I claim to adhere to the principle of noninjury, whether according to the Wiccan Rede or to a Sanskrit concept, that principle must include myself, and therefore I have the sacred responsibility to treat myself with the same compassion and love as I would a cow, a pig, or a human.  Love and hatred have this much in common:  neither can be contained.  If one affects part of your life, eventually it will affect everything.

That means, I live.  I stay.  I keep getting up, and I keep fighting for myself and my beliefs.  I refuse to give up on myself or the world. 

What I would say to the average Pagan, then, isn't "You shouldn't eat cows/cheese/jam sandwiches/anteaters/whatever," but, "Are you living in a way that supports your deepest and most cherished beliefs?"  What you do every day contributes more than what you do once in a while.  The least-considered part of your life informs the whole. 

Are your actions and values in line?  Most Westerners would have to answer that one in the negative.  If so, what can you do to bring all parts of your life into consonance?  What are you doing, as an individual with your individual gifts and individual challenges, to affirm and deepen your commitment to the sacred?

I have chosen to keep living because I know I can do better than I have...because deep down I believe I can make something beautiful out of what I've been given...because I know I can make a difference...because I want my legacy to be more than "she was a mammal." 

I choose to stay, learn, grow, become whatever it is I will become, and hopefully leave this place a little better than I found it.

But that's just me.  What are you staying for?

(Post title taken from the title of Margaret Cho's latest book.)

Hurrah for VeganMoFo!

I honestly don't mean to slight my readers, but I'm absolutely swamped right now with social, ritual, and personal obligations.  It's the Witching Season, after all.  I promise after November is over I'll be back on a more regular posting schedule and I'll do my best to keep posting in the meantime.   I know once again I owe several people emails--I'm working on that too!

It's also that time of year when a lot of crazy people attempt to write an entire novel in the month of November.  Yes, it's NaNoWriMo time again, and I'm already sick to death of reading word counts and progress reports.  Needless to say I don't foresee myself ever taking part in the madness.  More power to you guys who participate; I admire your stamina.  This time of year is stressful enough for me without trying to write an entire book.

Taking a cue from the novel-bangers, the vegan blogverse has created a monthlong celebration of cruelty-free cuisine:  Vegan Month of Food, aka VeganMoFo. 

The rules are nonexistent, except that participants are supposed to blog about vegan food.  (See the link for more suggestions)  Since I didn't get in on it in time to do a whole month's worth of writing on the subject, and since as I said I'm busy as all hell, and since this isn't a food blog anyway, I thought I would contribute by sharing my absolute favorite vegan food blogs and websites.  I visit each of these at least once a day if not more often. 

Don't be scared off by the "vegan" label, either--several of these sites have absolutely beautiful food porn and great recipes for anyone, regardless of dietary choice. 

(Just be glad I don't talk about cooking more often here--I could go on for days.  But though I consider veganism an important part of my spiritual path as well as an ideal to which I earnestly aspire, even I think posting recipes on a spirituality blog is pushing it a little, especially considering there are so many great food blogs out there.  I have this nutty idea that one day I'll create a food-and-spirituality blog that will combine three of my passions--food, ahimsa, and Wicca--in their own venue, but I have yet to lose enough of my mind to undertake the project.  Maybe in 2008.)

 

But, as is my custom, I digress.

Sylvan's Favorite Food Blogs and Websites

The Post-Punk Kitchen - Isa Chandra Moskowitz is responsible for the most fantastic cookbooks in the world:  Vegan With a Vengeance and Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.  Her newest work, Veganomicon, is at the very top of my birthday wish list.  She's funny, snarky, and an amazing cook.  Her cupcakes will get you laid.  Honest.  The PPK boasts a recipe index, great forums with lots of cooking advice and food porn, and a blog.

Compassionate Cooks - I've sung the praises of Colleen Patrick-Goudreau many times, and I still can't say enough about her podcast, Vegetarian Food for Thought.  She's also a cookbook author--her new venture, The Joy of Vegan Baking, was named Cookbook of the Year by VegNews magazine.  Colleen is a role model for me in my own struggles to free myself of the animal-based American diet, and moreover she's just an amazing human being.  In addition to the podcast and cookbook, she writes a blog, offers cooking classes, and sells recipe packets from the website.  Oh, and did I mention the cooking DVD?  It's awesome too. 

Fat Free Vegan Kitchen - This blog's author takes such beautiful photographs of her dishes that I practically drool on my monitor.  Has a large recipe index with lots of pics.  She shares both her successes and her less-than-stellar experiments to help aspiring cooks learn from her experiences.  The Balsamic Fudge Drop cookies are slap-your-mama good.  As an added bonus most of the recipes are fat free or nearly so--it may be hard for omnivores to believe given the popular opinion that vegans eat nothing but sprouts and leaves,  but it's as much of a challenge to eat healthily as a vegan as it is for anyone else.  (Especially with Isa's cupcake book out there!)

Vegan YumYum - Another blog with gorgeous photography, including step-by-step tutorials on some recipes. The author has a cookbook coming out at some point in the future.  I haven't been reading this one that long, but I enjoy it quite a bit.

VegWeb - Good Lord.  If you're looking for a vegetarian recipe, it's on here somewhere.  VegWeb has hundreds and hundreds of recipes neatly categorized, and includes a "recipe box" feature so you can save your favorites.  Recipes are reviewed and photographed by users.  There are even sections on non-food recipes for beauty products, household cleansers, and all sorts of other things made cruelty-free.  People who try the recipes often post adaptations and substitutions they try, so you end up with all sorts of variations and new ideas that have been tried and tested.

A Vegan Pagan's Prayer

Lord of the forest and field, Lady of the starlit night,
I acknowledge the truth that for me to live, something must die.
I give thanks for the gift of free will,
And I acknowledge the responsibility that comes with the freedom of choice.

I choose then to abstain from the cycle of unnecessary suffering.
I pledge to be an agent of healing, not a bystander to slaughter.
I say to the animals:
You do not have to suffer and die for me.
I say to the workers:
You do not have to kill for me.
I say to the corporate death machine:
You will no longer profit from my blindness.
I say to the Earth, and to all that is holy,
That though we are taught to feast upon war,
I choose to lay down the sword
And take in peace instead.
I ally myself with Nature, not as her master, but as her child.
I will not claim dominion over that which is wiser than I.

Lord of the forest and field, Lady of the starlit night,
May compassion fulfill and transform me
May I give as You give, may I love as You love
And may my choices bring grace to my life
As You bring grace to the world.

So mote it be.

Don't Just Sit There Bitching...

"Don't do nothing because you can't do everything. Do something. Anything."

~Colleen Patrick-Goudreau

I don't intend this blog to be a platform for me to rant about veganism; it is, however, a place for me to write about my spirituality, and veganism is becoming a very important part of that spirituality, so from time to time ideas and recommendations along those lines will appear here.

I will not burden your eyes with endless diatribes about Why Pagans Should Be Vegetarians or anything like that, partly because I don't take well to being bitched at (and nothing will get people bitching like suggesting they change the way they eat), partly because I do that sort of thing over at my personal blog already, and partly because the self-righteous preaching of other vegans has already turned off enough people--including me. I no longer spend time on vegan forums or other communities due to the fact that a large percentage of vegans are, unfortunately, holier-than-thou assholes (and there's nothing assholes love more than an online forum).